We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
