she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
