Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
