i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize