I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
