Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
