that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
