did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
