a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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