bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
