im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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