She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
birth control should be required to get into college
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
