I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
