i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
