she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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