I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
