that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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