i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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