He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
