Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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