Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
