If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
