Jerry, you need to find god
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
