happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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