sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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