i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
