I'm jealous of your bromance
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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