tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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