The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
