Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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