You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
