hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
