dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
well you can't waste a boner
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
