im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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