my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
two words: eviction party
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
