Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize