your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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