I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
