Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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