help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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