She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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