So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize