Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dick very happy bro
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
