This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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