btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i will never coherently bang her
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
