You can't motorboat a personality
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
