yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
