mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
