he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
