I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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