i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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