so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
