i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
