The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
