Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
