I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
