dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
