You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
