we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
