They should really pass out barf bags in church
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
